One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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