I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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