Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
