but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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