i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
