just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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