Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
