He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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