Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
