yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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