best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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