does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
