i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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