I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
