can u get pink eye on your cock?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
