you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
