Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
