hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
