I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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