i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
