so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
