There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
did i just pee glitter
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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