i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
