i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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