the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
