no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just sucked dick on a ferry
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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