like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize