What a fucking waste of an outfit
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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