then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
