I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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