Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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