So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
