When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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