i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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