question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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