I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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