What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
