you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
