So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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