He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
