Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
