in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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