I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you traded sex for a burrito?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize