it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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