I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
