why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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