marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
