So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
