i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
