how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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