So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
