At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Randomize
