sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
