i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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