You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
