y did u give ur computer a hand job?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
