I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize