she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
