Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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