More tranny stories later!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
