flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
