listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
