i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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