I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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